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Strange Sex Laws

1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Makes you hope you never need surgery!)

3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

4. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Whoa!)

5. There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

7. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? ... Not as great as Guam, though!!)

 

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on National Public Radio recently. The socialist/marxist/liberal female interviewer from NPR who interviewed him didn't approve of guns. This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and U.S.Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about tosponsor a boy scout troop's visit to his Marine Corps base:

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

 

Real but funny 911 calls
     
      Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
      Caller: I heard what
      sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
      house on the corner.
      Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
      Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


      Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
      emergency?
      Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
      and cheese sandwich.
      Dispatcher:
      Excuse me?
      Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
      table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
      taken a bite out of it.
      Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
      Caller:
      No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
      of it!
      
      Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
      Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven
      but my phone doesn't have
      an eleven on it.
      Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
      Caller: I thought you just said it was
      nine-one-one
      Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
      thing.
      Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm
      not stupid.
      

      Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
      Caller: My wife is
      pregnant and her contractions are only two
      minutes apart
      Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
      Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

      And the winner is...

      Dispatcher: 9-1-1
      Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
      Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
      Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
      Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
      Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an
      asthmatic?
      Caller:
      No
      Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
      breathing?
      Caller:
      Running from the Police.
 
 
 

 

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